Things I Should Have Skipped in the Wedding Planning Process

Getting married is an exciting time in a woman’s life. From picking out the venue to figuring out the color schemes, there is a lot that brides-to-be feel as though they must plan for on the big day.

Well, I’m here to say, fugetaboutit.

You don’t have to do all the stuff simply because it’s tradition or because your best friend did it at her wedding as well. What I learned is that, despite wanting to please your family and your guests, what really matters is doing what you, the couple, finds most important.

And in that regard, here are some things I wish I had skipped in the wedding planning process:

Inviting Hoards of Bridesmaids to Be in the Wedding

Being one of the first of my friends to get married, I thought it was my duty to have nearly every friend and half the cousins on both my side and my husband’s side in the wedding party.

That’s just a big fat NOPE.

It was simply too many people. And while we wanted to have a big wedding, we didn’t need everybody at the front of the church to carry this out. From making it difficult to organize pre-wedding events to making it nearly impossible to afford wedding party gifts, I realize now that having one to three close family or friends stand up with you is more than enough.

Buying Wedding Party Gifts

Speaking of gifts for the wedding party, I would nix this entirely and instead chip in for everyone’s dress or tuxedo. Having been a bridesmaid in my fair share of weddings since getting hitched, I now know just exactly how expensive it is for people to stand up in a wedding. If I had to do it all over again, I would have saved myself the trouble of finding the perfect gift and saved my wedding party some of the exorbitant expense and just put that money toward helping them out.

Requiring Matching Dresses and Tuxedos

Not only did having a large wedding party make for selecting a dress and tux that would fit everyone’s unique size and style difficult, but also the boutique we finally settled on closed up shop and ran away with everyone’s money, making a bad situation even worse. We wound up finding an online shop and telling the bridesmaids to order whatever style dress they wanted in a particular color, and in the end, the fact that everyone’s dress was unique wound up being one of the most common aspects of our wedding that people complimented us on.

In retrospect, my husband and I both agree we wish we had simply told our wedding party what color and type of material we were shooting for and let them pick out and purchase their own dresses and suits from regular, non-wedding-specific stores, giving them both attire for the wedding and something they would likely wear again rather than shove in the back of a closet for years to come.

Renting a Limousine to Take Us From the Church to the Reception

This is one of those things we just thought we were supposed to do. The truth is, there was nothing particularly exciting or memorable about this experience. We wound up spending several hundred dollars to be driven ten miles across town when we could have simply rented a nice car for the two of us or driven my father’s classic corvette or my grandfather’s classic GTO (which my brother and sister-in-law did, and it was awesome) and let the wedding party get themselves there.

Springing for Top Shelf Liquor

I come from a family who enjoys a good drink, particularly on special occasions. We were going to go with the standard booze package — beer, wine, and well liquor — until my dad decided at the last minute that people would appreciate top shelf stuff more. The thing is, people would have appreciated anything, and if they didn’t, too bad for them. Free booze is free booze to them, and in the end, we wound up spending money on the blue label when no label would have done the trick just as well.

Organizing the Bouquet and Garter Toss

This is one of those things I didn’t want to have anything to do with, but because my parents were chipping in for most of the wedding cost and my mom thought it was basically a requirement, we acquiesced and organized this part with the DJ, right down to what he should and should not say and do and which music he should play.

What a waste of time.

Very few people actually wanted to participate, and those who did were just being good sports. Worse? It cut into quality party and genuine conversation time with our family and friends. If I could do it over again, I’d cut this charade out entirely.

If we were to get married again tomorrow, I can guarantee our wedding would look a lot different than it did almost nine years ago, most notably as it applies to cutting out the unnecessary and focusing on what really matters. So to all you brides-to-be out there, I leave you with this: this day is ultimately about just the two of you; put your efforts into planning for things that will truly make you happy and forget about the rest.

About Lola Lolita

Lola Lolita is a wife, mother, educator, and chronic sufferer from anxiety, immaturity, and children. When she's not grading papers, neglecting the laundry, and letting her kids watch too much TV, she can be found both writing and editing others' work at and Follow her on Facebook at Sammiches & Psych Meds and MockMom and on Twitter at @SamPsychMeds and @MockMomDotCom.

There are no comments

Add yours