Single on Valentine’s Day? This One’s For You

on February 14, 2017 at 3:30 pm

This afternoon I was a guest on HuffPost Live and On-Call with Dr. Jane Greer. One of the questions she asked me was: what words of advice would you give to those listening who haven’t found “the one” yet?

My answer was this: know that being single on Valentine’s Day is the same as being single at a wedding. It’s one day where everything is made to look perfect, where everyone else seems so much in love that it makes your stomach feel ill. But just like a wedding, there’s a whole lot of heavy lifting, hard work, and ugly going on behind the scenes. Life is not perfect for anyone. Don’t get caught up in the facade.

If you’re single today, I suggest you do the following:

Celebrate the relationships you are no longer a part of. Can you believe you dodged those bullets?! Drop to your knees and thank sweet baby Jesus that you aren’t with that jerk anymore! Thank the lord you ended that one! OMG, what if that other one’s mom actually became your mother-in-law?! Pop a cork to all of those mistakes in your past, because even the most deliciously romantic dinner in the world couldn’t justify what your everyday would have looked like if you wound up down one of those paths.

Stay off social media. People lie and over-embellish. Everything is made to look perfect, and none of it actually is. If you’re scrolling and suddenly have the urge to puke over Muffy McRomance’s sappy social post, just remember that her date had to watch her from across the table searching for the perfect filter to use during that overpriced night out. (How #romantic.) I recently deleted my Facebook app from my phone, and in it’s place I put a 10 minute meditation app. I cannot tell you how much my mood has changed over the last few weeks. This Valentine’s Day, break up with some of your social.

Think of all the love you do have in your life. Maybe it’s your niece. Or your favorite uncle, or your pet, or the sweet elderly man at the grocery store. Sure it’s not the romantic kind of love, but I promise you, love is everywhere. Look for it. Find it. Celebrate it. Let it make you smile today, and feel it in your bones. Today, you don’t need a lover to celebrate the love.

Love yourself. You. YOU. You are something. You rock. You are amazing. You WILL find the one for you, your lobster, your better half. He or she is coming. But first, celebrate your own awesomeness. Change your inner bulbs and make sure your own light is shining as bright as you know it truly is, so you attract just what you deserve. Clear out your inner clutter, open those shutters, squeegee those windows and let your light shine. The world needs it. You need it. And the right one is waiting to find it.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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Alessandra Macaluso is author of The Real-Deal Bridal Bible and What a Good Eater!, host of the Real-Deal Brides Podcast, and blogger at AlessandraMacaluso.com. Alessandra’s work is featured in several anthologies, and she has contributed to The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, and many other online publications. Her original screenplay “Polar Suburbia” placed as a semi-finalist in the Moondance Film Festival. Alessandra is mom to two toddlers and a twenty-five pound Maine coon cat who believes he is a dog. She spends her time driving her OCD husband completely nuts with her constant rearrangement of scenery in their home. Learn more at AlessandraMacaluso.com and follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.