Single on Valentine’s Day? This One’s For You

This afternoon I was a guest on HuffPost Live and On-Call with Dr. Jane Greer. One of the questions she asked me was: what words of advice would you give to those listening who haven’t found “the one” yet?

My answer was this: know that being single on Valentine’s Day is the same as being single at a wedding. It’s one day where everything is made to look perfect, where everyone else seems so much in love that it makes your stomach feel ill. But just like a wedding, there’s a whole lot of heavy lifting, hard work, and ugly going on behind the scenes. Life is not perfect for anyone. Don’t get caught up in the facade.

If you’re single today, I suggest you do the following:

Celebrate the relationships you are no longer a part of. Can you believe you dodged those bullets?! Drop to your knees and thank sweet baby Jesus that you aren’t with that jerk anymore! Thank the lord you ended that one! OMG, what if that other one’s mom actually became your mother-in-law?! Pop a cork to all of those mistakes in your past, because even the most deliciously romantic dinner in the world couldn’t justify what your everyday would have looked like if you wound up down one of those paths.

Stay off social media. People lie and over-embellish. Everything is made to look perfect, and none of it actually is. If you’re scrolling and suddenly have the urge to puke over Muffy McRomance’s sappy social post, just remember that her date had to watch her from across the table searching for the perfect filter to use during that overpriced night out. (How #romantic.) I recently deleted my Facebook app from my phone, and in it’s place I put a 10 minute meditation app. I cannot tell you how much my mood has changed over the last few weeks. This Valentine’s Day, break up with some of your social.

Think of all the love you do have in your life. Maybe it’s your niece. Or your favorite uncle, or your pet, or the sweet elderly man at the grocery store. Sure it’s not the romantic kind of love, but I promise you, love is everywhere. Look for it. Find it. Celebrate it. Let it make you smile today, and feel it in your bones. Today, you don’t need a lover to celebrate the love.

Love yourself. You. YOU. You are something. You rock. You are amazing. You WILL find the one for you, your lobster, your better half. He or she is coming. But first, celebrate your own awesomeness. Change your inner bulbs and make sure your own light is shining as bright as you know it truly is, so you attract just what you deserve. Clear out your inner clutter, open those shutters, squeegee those windows and let your light shine. The world needs it. You need it. And the right one is waiting to find it.

Happy Valentine’s Day.



About alessandra

Alessandra Macaluso is author of The Real-Deal Bridal Bible, available on Amazon and Kindle, and blogger at AlessandraMacaluso.com. Alessandra also writes screenplays and articles, and is a regular contributor for The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy. Her original screenplay, “Polar Suburbia”, placed as a semi-finalist in the 2009 Moondance Film Festival. Learn more about Alessandra and her current projects at her author website AlessandraMacaluso.com, and follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

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