Marriage: Uncut.
Typical night of marriage, real-deal style:
ME: “What’s that smell?”
HIM: “Nothing.”
ME: “Did you fart?”
HIM: “Maybe.”
ME: “I see that you’re standing in the kitchen. What’s my one golden rule, the only thing I ask?”
HIM: “Don’t fart in the kitchen.”
ME: “And you did. You farted in the kitchen.”
HIM: “Yes.” (Laughter)
ME: “Please don’t laugh. You know I hate your fart laugh.”
HIM: “Sorry.”
ME: “Can you promise to not do it again?”
HIM: “Sure.”
I then turned around, and walked straight into the opened pantry door. He laughed so hard, he farted again. In the kitchen.
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