Marriage: Uncut.

Typical night of marriage, real-deal style:

ME: “What’s that smell?”

HIM: “Nothing.”

ME: “Did you fart?”

HIM: “Maybe.”

ME: “I see that you’re standing in the kitchen. What’s my one golden rule, the only thing I ask?”

HIM: “Don’t fart in the kitchen.”

ME: “And you did. You farted in the kitchen.”

HIM: “Yes.” (Laughter)

ME: “Please don’t laugh. You know I hate your fart laugh.”

HIM: “Sorry.”

ME: “Can you promise to not do it again?”

HIM: “Sure.”

I then turned around, and walked straight into the opened pantry door. He laughed so hard, he farted again. In the kitchen.

About alessandra

Alessandra Macaluso is author of The Real-Deal Bridal Bible, available on Amazon and Kindle, and blogger at Alessandra also writes screenplays and articles, and is a regular contributor for The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy. Her original screenplay, “Polar Suburbia”, placed as a semi-finalist in the 2009 Moondance Film Festival. Learn more about Alessandra and her current projects at her author website, and follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

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